I decided to write again, to expose my self again through the unspoken words. It’s the only way to feel relieved and released, yes released from my own prison I’ve built brick by brick through the past months, I admit that I’ve been locked up in an empty world, I’ve been stuck in an unknown place for a long time now where there are no dreams no feelings no desire to anything in life ,if we may still call that a living, I was feeling so indiferent towards everything even that thin line existing betweeen every two opposite things in life meant nothing to me. I was so cold that I thought that the old me has died. I thought that the happy confident dreamy me has gone so I decided to write a tribute to her era, to thank her for the beautiful time I’ve lived through all the adventures when I worried about nothing but my happiness then finally tell her goodbye!
However while remembering old times, remembering last year the best year of my life, remembering all the adventures and all the memories I refused the fact that the old me has vanished, I can’t just disappear ! jojo joy can’t fade away easily! I agree that I may be sometimes immature, unreasonable, clumsy , but I’m definetly not a coward, never been never will be!
I can’t die! I refuse to be fooled by my emptiness and boredom, it’s just a phase and there’s so much more room for happiness in the future as it is for sadness. Life is a bunch of ups and downs and I’m not that weak to get drowned in a mud of obscurity!
None knows what the future is hiding for us and I still have my whole life ahead of me, I can’t spend it numb and miserable, I can’t give up to melancholy! I will find a way out, there is always hope, I will set myself free again because my soul simply just can’t and won’t die !