I’m terribly enormously sorry!
I’m sorry for misleading you …
I’m sorry for convincing you that you’re an extraordinary person who will be living fairytales in her life, for telling you that everyone around you is wrong and blinded to see the truth, the truth about the real purpose of life, but I was the wrong one. Sorry for brainwashing your small head with all the scenes you’ve seen in your stupid happy ending movies or read in your shallow perfect plotted book collection.
I’m sorry for making you a victim of your own imagination, sorry for making a fool of you in those times when you had to confront real world with your dreamy thoughts and mythical values.
I’m sorry for leaving you alone, incomprehensible, outcast in your own perfect pinky world.
That being said, I know you would expect me to change, I promise I’ll try but it will take time to recover into what I really am, just another ordinary person who’s afraid to be alone and seeks for happiness.
Finally, thanks for the enlightenment dear Louis C.K. you’ve been a great inspiration.
It’s very seldom that we talk about the seven heavenly virtues, all we’re familiar with is the seven deadly sins. It’s like the human nature is more likely devilish than angelic or maybe because people are more obeying when they’re threatened and afraid of their act consequences better than being rewarded of not doing so!
“In each of us, two natures are at war – the good and the evil. All our lives the fight goes on between them, and one of them must conquer. But in our own hands lies the power to choose – what we want most to be we are.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson
Another creepy thing I’m discovering about myself:
I took a test on this link about personality disorder and this was my result :
So what is Dependent Personality Disorder?
Thematic Apperception Test aka T.A.T.
I took another kind of psychological personality test which relays on person’s description of a random picture. Assuming that our responses reveal underlying motives, concerns, and the way wee the social world through the stories we make up about ambiguous pictures of people.
you can also take it here at utpsyc.org
What Do You See in the Picture?
“Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a person’s sexual choice is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions. Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of life. Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves. No matter what corruption they’re taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which they cannot perform for any motive but their own enjoyment – just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity! – an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exultation, only on the confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces them to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and accept their real ego as their standard of value. They will always be attracted to the person who reflects their deepest vision of themselves, the person whose surrender permits them to experience – or to fake – a sense of self-esteem .. Love is our response to our highest values – and can be nothing else.”
A slight view on the connection between desire, love and our own selfesteem. As we always think that our emotions and desire are coming from different places and they’re not linked somehow to eachother or to our own perspective about ourselves, but that is not entirely true because our emotions can be unreasonable but they’re not seperated !
Well that may sound kind of narcissistic and selfcentred of me writing a whole article about who I am. But recognizing who you are and getting to know the real You is the first step to live your life and start taking drastic decision to improve your way of living, feel better about yourself, make other feel better about you, whatever makes you feel content ( not necessarily about yourself but maybe about your situation or social profile, it all depend on people’s personalities). I believe that in order to achieve any goal in life one should always make a deep study of good strategy and follow it. Mine is still on the making but it starts by:
-Identifying your personal environnement so you can later identify your entourage: Knowing what you have in mind/heart/hands. Start questioning youself “who are you, what are your strengths and weaknesses, your flaws and qualities, your pet peeves, your delights, your fetish, your addiction etc”.